Je Ne Regrette Rien (Or 5 Traits Cas Developed Since Becoming Human)
by pizarra en blanco
Summary: Cas just became completely human. As Dean notices the changes in the former angel, he wants to know how he's coping.


1. He hates being woken up in the morning.

The day starts normally enough in Bobby's house. They have been here for a week after taking a break from hunting. But it was more than that. Cas has lost his Grace and he needs time to adjust to the loss of his angel mojo. A few weeks ago, Dean and Sam started giving Cas hunter training. Cas didn't like it when they suggested it, but after getting hurt in a hunt, Cas has accepted that he needs the training in order to survive.

Dean looks at the clock and sees that it is eleven in the morning and the angel still hasn't come down. He frowns. The angel, well, ex-angel, usually woke up before anyone else, going to Bobby's library immediately to choose a book to read for the day. Dean chuckles. Even without his Grace, Cas still stores millions of information in that little head of his and he still takes in more. Dean would sometimes pass by the library and see Cas and Sam sitting, both poring over books like having some kind of read-athlon, stopping only long enough to eat or go to the bathroom.

_Dude still not up._ Dean frowns again, puts down the gun he was cleaning and goes upstairs. The angel might have a stomach ache again after last night's pizza. Yesterday, Cas told them that he's completely human. He said that he has felt the last sliver of his Grace slip away. Sam wanted to talk about it but the angel glared at him with his "I will smite you" expression fixed firmly on his face. So, they did what they do best: ignored the problem, ordered numerous boxes of pizza, and drank copious amount of beer.

Upon reaching Cas's door, he knocks softly before entering. He steps inside the room and sees Cas on the bed, lying on his stomach with his face in the pillow, the covers thrown on the floor. The dude probably threw them off of him sometime during the night.

He walks toward the angel slowly, not wanting to surprise him; Cas is still pretty strong, after all. Yup, Dean learned that the hard way.

"Cas?"

No answer. Fearing the worst, he put two fingers underneath the angel's nose. Oh, thank God he's still breathing! Dean lets go of his breath and wills his heart to stop. Since becoming half fallen, Dean has worried about Castiel, knowing that steadily losing his Grace is hurting the angel. And now that his Grace is gone, Dean's panic mode suddenly has a hair trigger. But he and Cas won't talk about it, not anytime soon. They'll drink beer, eat pizza, watch Dr. Sexy, MD, but they won't talk about it until Castiel is ready.

He tentatively puts his hand on Cas' shoulder and shakes him. "Cas?" he tries again. The angel grunts and turns his head the other way.

"Cas!" he says louder.

"Go away," Castiel growls.

"Dude, it's almost noon. You can't spend the whole day in bed. Come on, man, get up." Dean shakes him again.

"Go. Away."

Dean chuckles. "Come on, man. Wake up, okay? Cas!"

Castiel finally looks at him, blue eyes blazing. His hair is spiked up more than usual, his face showing signs of sleep marks, but the fury in his eyes are all very angel. It reminds Dean of when he first met him. He realizes now that the intensity of Castiel's eyes is him, not his Grace. "What?!" Cas growls out.

"Come on, rise and shine. If you take a shower, I'll fix you something to eat." Dean smiles. But Cas did something that he never expected the angel to do: Cas throws a pillow at him. Hard.

Before he realizes it, the angel is up from the bed and pushing Dean out of the room. The door slams behind him, leaving him dumbfounded. Cas has never been this hard to wake up; he's never even slept this late. What the hell? Dean pounded his fist twice on the door and shouted, "You better be showered and downstairs in 10 minutes!"

He stomps down the stairs. Fucking angels.

* * *

2. He likes stealing Dean's clothes.

Bobby and Sam are at the kitchen table discussing a hunt as Dean makes coffee and breakfast for the angel when Cas finally shows up wearing jeans and a black shirt that Dean recognizes.

"Hey! That's my shirt!"

"Then why was it in my drawer?" They took the angel shopping for new clothes a couple of months ago. He was almost human so he might as well look the part. He remembers the confused look the angel gave Dean when he was presented with jeans, as if they were a foreign object. He was reluctant, saying that he didn't need clothes, but Dean has had enough. They had been going around the mall, looking for something that the angel might actually like, all to no avail. Castiel shook his head to everything Dean suggested. He was tired from all the walking and cranky and hungry. And frankly? He just wanted the shopping done with. Jeans are the simplest and best way to go. So he pushed the angel into the dressing area, gave him a pair of jeans and a shirt and an order to try them or else.

Looking at the angel now, he's glad they bought jeans. Cas looks natural in jeans and a shirt, he has to admit. Even though it was Dean's shirt he was wearing.

Cas slumps on a seat as Dean puts a plate of bacon and eggs in front of him. He grunts, "Thanks," and starts eating in silence.

Dean starts to take apart another gun to clean as Bobby speaks up. "I've got a hunt to go to in Wright, Wyoming. People disappearing in the woods, haven't been seen for two weeks."

"The one you've been talking about? I thought other hunters were already on it?" Sam remarks.

"They were supposed to, but then got held up by a bunch of demons on the way to Wyoming. Don't worry, I can take care of it."

"Sounds like the usual wendigo activity. Would you like us to come too?"

"You think I can't handle a simple wendigo hunt?"

"No, I just-"

"Idjit."

Suddenly, Cas looks up from his plate and says, "Bobby, I would suggest that you take silver bullets with you. A werewolf can be quite tricky.

"Cas," Dean looks at man beside him, "Wendigo. It's a wendigo. You're confusing your monsters again."

"It's a werewolf, Dean."

"And how do you know?"

Cas sighs. "Dean, I may be human now, but I am still older than you and my knowledge is still intact."

"Well," Sams says before his brother can think of something to retort. "What could it hurt? Bobby?"

"Yeah, the little nerd angel is right. I should have a Plan B. Right, I'll be heading out. No other angels in the house, don't ruin my walls. And for God's sakes, can you restock my fridge? You idjits are gonna eat me out of my own house!"

* * *

3. He loves burgers.

The day after they restocked Bobby's fridge as he suggested (_commanded_), Dean grills hamburgers. The nerds are in the library, researching for Bobby, so he decided to leave them to it and start lunch.

Afterwards, they all sit down at the table to eat where Cas wolfs down his burger and Sam fills in Dean on Bobby's status.

"Bobby says that Cas was right. But it's not one werewolf but three."

Dean shoulders tenses at the thought of the older man fighting off three werewolves. "Does he need help?"

Cas, calm as always, stops eating long enough to swallow his food (the good mannered dick) and says, "No, the hunters he previously contacted are with him as of this moment. We did, however, advise him and his companions to stay safe." He reaches for another burger.

"Okay, that's good, I guess." The former angel starts devouring his second burger in the same manner as before. Dean notes that he himself hasn't been able to eat half of his burger. He looks at his brother, who shrugs. "Uh, Cas?"

"Hmm?" His mouth full.

"I remember that we ate breakfast this morning."

"Yes, Dean." Cas took a huge bite again and chews.

"Okaay...so, why are you inhaling burgers all of a sudden? Don't tell me that my cooking is so awesome you can't help yourself." He chuckles.

"It appears that Jimmy's body, my body, retained its fondness for red meat. It is making me crave."

"Uh, huh. Okay, I guess. Just don't eat too much or you'll get a stomach ache again."

Cas nods. "I don't like stomach aches."

Sam and Dean looked at each other. Dean says, "We don't like it either when you have a stomach ache. You get all groany and clingy and bitchy."

"I do not-!"

"And," Sam interrupts, "you always promise to 'never do it again', which we all know is a lie."

* * *

4. He is obsessive compulsive.

"Hey, Bobby."

_"We're done with the werewolves but I ain't coming back yet. There are signs of demonic activity in Idaho so I'm heading that way instead. How are you boys holding up?"_

"We're good. Sam is at the public library doing research for a hunter friend of yours who does not seem to like books."

_"You boys better not be destroying my house."_

"Of course not, Bobby. Why would we?"

_"Well, with all the crap you idjits get into with angels and demons, I tend to be skeptical about you being good boys. Ever since you came back from hell, I have been remodeling my house every couple of months. And you ain't paying for it."_

"Don't worry, we're keeping our noses clean. Speaking of clean, Cas has cleaned your kitchen and rearranged your herbs alphabetically."

_"He what?!"_

"Oh, yeah. Dude's on a roll. He says your cupboards are 'deplorable'."

"Dean, I am finished in the kitchen. Please ensure that you put everything back to it's rightful place once you're done with cooking lunch."

_"Is that the idjit who dared mess with my kitchen?!"_

"Don't shout at me, Bobby!"

"Call me once Sam gets back, Dean. We have some ancient text to discuss. I will be in Bobby's office tending to his desk. It is a horrible sight to perceive."

_"Dean!"_

"Dammit, Bobby! Volume!"

_"Do not let that angel touch my desk!"_

"He's bored! What do you want me to do, put him in the panic room?"

_"Dean, stop him or I will tear off his limbs, ex-angel or not!"_

"Heh. I'd pay to see that one."

_"Dean! Stop him now or I will put a wrench through your beloved car!"_

"Cas! Stop that! Stop that right now!"

* * *

5. He likes doing the laundry.

With Cas being banned from cleaning Bobby's desk, he settles for reading in Bobby's library with Sam. His brother asked Cas to translate this ancient text about witches; they are now in their geek world, talking about geek stuff. After a while, Sam leaves to get them food, leaving Dean and Cas in the house. Dean has grown tired of watching Dr. Sexy, MD reruns so he searches for Cas.

He finds the ex-angel in the basement, in front of the washer staring at the machine. Dean raises his eyebrows. it's usually not surprising to find Cas staring at machines as if they are from another universe. What's surprising is that the washer was on; he can hear the soft, wet, whirling sounds coming from the washer. He looks around - no water anywhere on the floor. He walks slowly towards Cas, not wanting to surprise the angel.

"Hello, Dean."

"Dude! I thought you're completely human! What's with the sixth sense?!"

"I find that...I can tell when you are coming. Also with Sam and Bobby. I believe I have gotten used to being in Jimmy's body that I seem to have developed...instincts, for lack of a better word, for some things." He pauses. "I am 'doing the laundry'." He says proudly.

Dean chuckles. "Yeah, man, I can see that. But what I'm wondering is: why? And did Sam teach you how to do the laundry?"

"Because all our clothes are dirty and need to be washed. And no, Bobby did."

"Okay."

They stand there, hunter and ex-angel, staring at the washer and listening to the sounds of the water. It is Dean who breaks the stillness of the moment.

"So...how are you holding up? You know, with mortality and all."

"I like 'doing the laundry'." Complete with air quotes, the feathery bastard. "It is cathartic." Dean says nothing, letting the angel decide what to tell him or even to tell him anything at all. After a while, Cas says, "It is...difficult. And frustrating. I used to not need trivial things like food and clothes and sleep. I used to not want things. I had no need for emotions. I used to be immovable, invincible. A being of light. Immortal."

"Dude, you're still pretty strong, if you ask me."

Cas ignores this and turns to him. "But I regret nothing."

Dean's at a loss for words at the statement. And then he smiles. Yes, he was smacked by a pillow, he was pushed from a room. He cooked breakfast for a newly-made man who likes sleeping late, a man who has no culinary skills whatsoever and who also steals his clothes. But thinking on it, he'd have to agree. He regrets nothing, too.


End file.
